The jerked beef and the fried broccoli I'd made and eaten before, it's not a bad combo, but the herby, peanut-buttery mashed cauliflower was a new one, and I think it worked well (would have worked better had I not rushed it and not cooked the cauliflower to fully mashable, but whatever).
For three, I used:
600g of beef steak (it was on offer in the supermarket)
A whole head of cauliflower
A whole head of broccoli
Dunn's River Jamaican Jerk Seasoning
2 Frying pans and a saucepan.
1. Put enough water to boil the cauliflower in on the hob to boil.
2. Break up the cauliflower into florets (the larger, the slower they cook), and remove the fibrous stem at the bottom.
3. Place cauliflower in boiling water.
4. Break broccoli into small florets.
5. Heat olive oil to medium heat in smaller frying pan, then add broccoli. Stir every minute or so.
6. Heat olive oil to high heat in larger frying pan, and when hot, add steak and cover in jerk seasoning (to taste). I couldn't fit all my steak in one pan at once, it took me three goes, so it went in as soon as the broccoli did.
7. Once the cauliflower is over-boiled, but not discoloured (when you think you can mash it), strain it in a colander, return it to the pan (which should be on no heat, but on the still-warm hob) and mash. About half-way through mashing add a tablespoon scoop of peanut butter and some mixed herbs (I used thyme, oregano and sage) and continue mashing until its consistency is as close to mashed potato as possible.
8. The broccoli should look a bit brown in places when its cooked (which should be soon) and the beef should be as well done as you like (I always cook to well done because I refrigerate mine). Serve it with the cauliflower in a heap at the bottom, the beef on top of it and the broccoli around the edge so that the cauliflower absorbs the beef juices.
Volumise: It's broccoli and cauliflower. Add more of it and ta-da; it's volumised!
Add carbs: Replace cauliflower with potato. Sprinkle a little sugar on the beef as well as the seasoning. Add a little sugar to the mash.
Add fat: Add more peanut butter in the mash. Replace the broccoli with fried avocado (I haven't tried this, but I will).
Add protein: Um, more beef. Make the beef a leaner cut. If you're desperate, you could try adding a small amount of whey powder paste to the mash, but I would not advise it.
Add anger-management: Tenderise the beef with your fists. Just punch the shit out of it. Trust me, I've done it, it works.